My father was a constant supporter until dementia altered his personality. Symptoms began during university and progressed to debt, heavy drinking, antisocial behavior, and loss of his long-term partner. I moved home after graduating to provide hands-on care during the pandemic while other family supported when possible. Daily life became unpredictable with repeated stories, loss of conversation, and intermittent kindness or agitation. Care became unsustainable despite financial ability to pay for help. In August 2022 I moved him into a dementia care facility, one of the last times he spoke. The decision felt right but left persistent guilt.
My dad clutched my arm tightly and looked at me with panicked eyes: "Don't leave me here." In that moment, the roles reversed. It was as though I was the parent abandoning their kid. This memory from August 2022 - when we moved my father to a care facility for people with dementia - is one of the last times I ever heard him talk. He soon became nonverbal.
My dad was my biggest cheerleader before his dementia In my father's eyes, everything I touched turned to gold. He boasted about my minor accomplishments on Facebook and hosted celebration dinners if I did well academically. His dementia started when I was in university. By the end of my degree, he'd accrued debt, drank heavily, exhibited antisocial behavior, and his long-term partner had left him.
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