"Do you ever feel like parts of yourself are welcome in the world, while others must stay hidden? I was reminded of this recently at my son's birthday party. He wanted to see KPop Demon Hunters in the theater. Honestly, I went reluctantly-animated movies aren't usually my thing. But as I sat there, popcorn in hand, I realized the story was striking at something I see every day in my clinical practice: the struggle to love our whole selves."
"The main character, Rumi, is half demon and half hunter. To be accepted as a hunter, she hides her demon parts-her marks, her secrets, her vulnerabilities. She focuses only on what the world tells her is "good." Her adoptive mother warns her: "People won't love your demon part." That tension felt achingly familiar. In our culture, we're taught to fight hard for the parts of ourselves society values: Be smart, be beautiful, be hardworking, be honest. But what about the parts that feel less than?"
Avoidance leads people to hide parts they fear are unlovable, producing disconnection from self and others. Cultural messages reward certain qualities while stigmatizing grief, fear, insecurity, and shame. Characters like Rumi conceal vulnerable 'demon' aspects to gain acceptance, mirroring real-life struggles. Personal healing can involve acknowledging brokenness alongside strengths, such as loving a lost child's memory rather than erasing grief. Dialectical behavior therapy supports holding apparently opposite states simultaneously, such as strength and vulnerability. Reframing self-talk with compassion and practicing 'and' instead of 'or' helps integrate hidden parts into a sense of wholeness.
Read at Psychology Today
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