Tired of Small Talk? Try Big Talk

"We tend to overestimate how uncomfortable small talk will be and underestimate how enjoyable it will be. We let our worst fears win out. Do people sometimes reject our bids to chat? For sure. But most of the time, we have more in common than we expected. Pushing yourself to talk with others can be a kind of exposure therapy. If done correctly, you'll be rewarded for initiating conversations by having a good time conversing. The more good conversations you have, the more likely you'll be to have more conversations."

"What's Big Talk? Big talk is when you skip past asking about the weather and discuss more important and meaningful topics sooner. Research has shown that diving more deeply into conversations increases your enjoyment. If you talk about the weather and local sports, you may not find much with which to connect. But talk about something that scares you or something you struggle with, and suddenly, you learn more about each other. The more you learn about each other, the more you have to talk about."

Many people dislike small talk because they fear running out of things to say or experiencing social mishaps. People tend to overestimate how awkward small talk will be and underestimate how enjoyable it can become. Pushing oneself to initiate conversation can function as exposure therapy, producing more good conversations and increasing confidence. Effective approaches include asking open-ended questions, avoiding boomerasking, making bold initiations, and skipping superficial topics. Diving into meaningful subjects, including fears and struggles, helps people discover common ground, deepens connection, and makes conversations more enjoyable and sustainable.

Read at Psychology Today