"It's never easy to come to terms with the fact that the people who raised you might also be the ones who've caused you the most harm. For many, it takes years of confusion, denial, and emotional exhaustion before that moment of clarity finally arrives, but once the veil lifts, there's no unseeing it. So when Reddit users u/Significant_Luck4310 and u/the-A-team1 asked, "What made you realise your family member(s) were toxic?" hundreds of people spoke up, sharing honest, painful, and deeply validating stories."
"12. "My mom and I always struggled to connect when I was growing up. One time we went dress shopping, and she was so angry at me for not liking any of the options she picked out that she said, 'No one will ever love you, because I can't even love you as a mother'" "I always assumed from previous abusive experiences that I could grow up and understand her point of view, but after this, I knew there was no hope for us.""
Many people reach a painful realization that close relatives can cause the deepest harm. Moments of clarity often follow years of confusion, denial, and emotional exhaustion. Specific triggers include infidelity met with blame, verbal attacks that erase love and worth, discoveries of sexual abuse, and family members minimizing or enabling bullying and violence. These incidents transform perceptions of caretakers from safe figures to abusive ones. Survivors report that the accumulation of betrayals, invalidation, and boundary violations makes repair impossible and forces decisions about distance, safety, and healing.
Read at BuzzFeed
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