"This sounds obvious-of course you have to get back on. But watch a beginner at any surf break and you'll notice something interesting. They spend almost no time practicing recovery. They're focused entirely on the ride: the pop-up, the stance, the glorious moment of gliding across the face of the wave. And then they wipe out. And they wipe out again. And eventually, many of them quit-not because they couldn't learn to surf, but because they never learned to fall."
"In 1999, psychiatrist Daniel Siegel introduced a concept he called the "window of tolerance"-the zone of arousal in which a person can function effectively. Too much activation, and we tip into hyperarousal: panic, rage, the racing heart of fight-or-flight. Too little, and we slide into hypoarousal: numbness, dissociation, the collapse of freeze. The window is where we want to be. It's where we can think clearly, feel our feelings without being overwhelmed by them, and respond to life rather than merely react."
Learning to recover from setbacks is more important than learning to avoid them. Beginners focus on the ride—pop-up, stance, gliding—and neglect practicing recovery, which leads many to quit after repeated wipeouts. Experienced surfers accept being knocked down and practice returning to the board. The window of tolerance is the zone of arousal where functioning and clear thinking are possible; hyperarousal produces panic or rage and hypoarousal produces numbness and dissociation. Small stressors that remain inside the window can be ridden, while trauma occurs when a stressor exceeds the window and overwhelms regulation. The essential skill is returning to the window after being knocked off balance.
Read at Psychology Today
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