The personality trait that predicts loneliness better than being single or living alone - Silicon Canals

"You've probably heard it a thousand times: loneliness is an epidemic. But here's what might surprise you - researchers have found that whether you're single or partnered, living alone or with others, doesn't actually predict loneliness as much as we think. The real culprit? It's something much more subtle, and it lives in how we relate to ourselves when nobody else is around."

"I discovered this the hard way a few years back. Despite having a partner, a busy social calendar, and what looked like a full life on paper, I felt profoundly lonely. Meanwhile, my neighbor - a single woman in her sixties who lived alone - seemed to radiate contentment. What was her secret? The answer lies in something psychologists call "comfort with solitude." It turns out that how we feel about being alone matters far more than how often we actually are alone."

"Bella DePaulo, Ph.D., explains it perfectly: "People who are comfortable with solitude are less likely to feel lonely than those who view time alone with trepidation." Think about that for a second. Two people can spend the exact same amount of time alone, but one feels peaceful while the other feels abandoned. The difference isn't in their circumstances - it's in their relationship with solitude itself."

Loneliness is widespread, but relationship status and living arrangements do not reliably predict feelings of loneliness. Comfort with solitude strongly influences whether time alone feels peaceful or distressing. People who are comfortable being alone experience less loneliness even when spending similar amounts of solitary time as others. Interviews with hundreds of individuals reveal consistent contrasts: some highly social or partnered people feel deeply lonely, while some people living alone feel connected and content. Psychological perspectives identify 'comfort with solitude' as a key trait related to these differences. Avoiding solitude through busyness can mask anxiety and prevent developing comfort with being alone.

Read at Silicon Canals