"Unrealistic goals lead to self-recrimination more often than they lead to self-improvement. Fantasies are not strategies. Clinging to them can lead to heartbreak. Emotional independence emerges, in part, from releasing ourselves from our own false expectations. Self-awareness, self-acceptance, and self-esteem emerge from love and boundaries. "Know thyself" is no joke. This is the year of "Yeah, That's Not Going to Happen." This is the year I will not learn German, calligraphy, or how to zip-line."
"I can no longer afford the luxuries of self-inflicted self-diminishment. It's too easy to make myself feel bad. The challenge has gone out of it. Not. Going. To. Happen. I'm tired of all the self-talk I've heard about being better, being stronger, being more self-disciplined, and being--c'mon already, are you kidding? --more serene. Not going to happen. Instead, I'm trading in the idea of perfecting myself for the real possibility of enjoying myself."
Unrealistic goals produce self-recrimination more often than self-improvement, and clinging to fantasies substitutes hope for actionable strategy. Emotional independence grows partly by releasing false expectations and establishing loving boundaries. Self-awareness, self-acceptance, and self-esteem arise from honest self-knowledge and clear limits. Rejecting grand, capricious resolutions reduces habitual self-diminishment and prevents despair. Choosing achievable, controllable pleasures over perfectionism makes aspirations reasonable and enjoyable. False promises and fantasies do not create success; realistic planning and boundary-based self-care foster sustainable growth and greater enjoyment of life.
Read at Psychology Today
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