The Five B's to Support Your Teen

Adolescence often involves irritability, emotional reactivity, risk-taking, withdrawal, and difficulty communicating. Parents may feel confused, rejected, powerless, or sad, but these shifts are a necessary stage of growth. Adolescence can be viewed as a developmental cocoon that is messy and transformative rather than only a problem to manage. Attunement—accurately sensing, understanding, and responding to a teen’s emotional state—acts as a protective factor for mental health. Overreacting, overcontrolling, or judging too quickly can create distance and rupture. Parenting aims to support teens in emerging with emotional steadiness, psychological flexibility, and a stronger sense of self, moving from adolescence toward balance.

"But what I've just described is also a normal part of human development: adolescence. For many parents, the transition from childhood to adolescence can feel sudden and disorienting. One day, our child seems open and eager to connect. The next, we find ourselves wondering: What happened?"

"Rather than viewing adolescence only as a problem to manage, it can help to see it as a developmental cocoon: messy, active, confusing, and full of transformation. My friend and colleague, Dr. Assaf Oshri of the University of Georgia's Center for Developmental Science, describes attunement-the ability to accurately sense, understand, and respond to a teen's emotional state-as one of the most important protective factors in adolescent development and mental health."

"When we overreact, overcontrol, or move too quickly into judgment, we can unintentionally create distance and rupture. Our role is not to control every part of adolescence. Our role is to help our teens emerge from it with greater emotional steadiness, psychological flexibility, and a stronger sense of self."

"Teens learn far more from what we do than from what we say. They watch how we handle stress, disappointment, anger, conflict, and mistakes. They notice whether we apologize, whether we listen, and whether we are willing to grow. Being the benchmark does not mean being perfect. No parent is perfect. What matters is modeling accountability, reflection, repair, and growth."

Read at Psychology Today