The Fear of Being Alone

"To deal with loneliness, it is helpful to stay with yourself, not abandon yourself. Trust yourself. Stay one more minute in the abyss than you can stand, increasing the time each day. That one more minute will increase your power and inner resources exponentially. Unconditional love of yourself is loving yourself when you feel the worst."

"Loneliness is the longing for mirroring, unconditional acceptance, and affiliation that I missed out on long ago. Loneliness is the resident pain in my psyche. It is an abandonment fear that has been in me all my life. It is a wilderness only I can cross on the demanding trek to my adulthood."

"When I want someone to be my St. George, I am avoiding my dragon. Paradoxically, the solution is not in a rescuer but in an unconditional acceptance of the loneliness itself, allowing it a full unobstructed track to run its course within me."

Loneliness is a universal experience containing growth potential when endured rather than avoided. False beliefs about unworthiness, powerlessness, and isolation often underlie the fear of aloneness. Addressing loneliness requires self-trust and unconditional self-love, especially during difficult moments. By staying present with uncomfortable feelings incrementally longer each day, inner resources expand exponentially. Loneliness represents unmet needs for mirroring and acceptance from the past, functioning as abandonment fear. The paradoxical solution involves accepting loneliness fully rather than seeking external rescue, allowing vulnerability to be experienced safely and completely.

Read at Psychology Today