"Being "the reasonable one" sounds like a compliment. But in reality, it's often a subtle demand to stay quiet, stay calm, and stay accommodating, no matter the personal cost. Over time, this constant self-restraint can leave a person feeling exhausted, resentful, and unseen. What It Really Means to Be Reasonable Being reasonable is often described as being logical, fair, and sensible. In practice, it can mean being compliant, supportive, and accommodating, for the sake of harmony."
"Being reasonable is often described as being logical, fair, and sensible. In practice, it can mean being compliant, supportive, and accommodating, for the sake of harmony. Being "the reasonable one" involves placating others, smoothing over disagreements, and keeping the peace in public, at work, and in relationships with friends and family. But being reasonable often comes with an unspoken rule: Don't show emotion. Don't inconvenience others. Don't escalate conflict. And don't make anyone uncomfortable with your own feelings."
Being labeled "reasonable" often means staying calm, smoothing conflicts, anticipating others' needs, apologizing preemptively, and suppressing personal feelings to preserve harmony. Social rewards reinforce compliance and emotional suppression despite psychological costs. Chronic self-restraint and conflict avoidance can produce exhaustion, resentment, and feelings of invisibility. The expectation to remain accommodating is applied unevenly across people, with women disproportionately bearing emotional labor. Recognizing the limits of constant reasonableness and learning to assert boundaries and express needs can reduce self-silencing and improve mental health and relationship balance.
Read at Psychology Today
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