"Being hurt by others creates many challenges. How do I right the wrong? Can I get the person to change? Importantly, can I forgive as a way to guard against unhealthy anger? If so, what are the protections of which I need to be aware so that the forgiveness can be healthy and not damaging either to the one who acted unfairly or to me? We will consider seven themes for protecting yourself as you forgive."
"It is so difficult to fully comprehend what forgiveness is that an entire journal issue was dedicated to exploring its definition ( Song, Enright, & Kim, 2025). The essence of forgiveness in that journal centered on this: As we forgive those who have been unjust to us, we choose to have mercy on that person through respect, kindness, generosity, and even, on its very highest level, love or assisting that person in human betterment when it may be painful to do so."
Many people lack a clear understanding of forgiveness and may avoid it because of false assumptions. Forgiveness involves choosing mercy expressed through respect, kindness, generosity, and, at times, love or assistance toward another’s betterment even when painful. Forgiveness does not mean excusing injustice, tolerating ongoing danger, or abandoning justice; reconciliation is not automatic. Allow time to process anger and confusion rather than rushing. Use protections and deliberate themes when forgiving to guard against unhealthy anger and to prevent harm to either the wrongdoer or the one who was harmed.
Read at Psychology Today
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