"It canbe extremely difficult to admit to yourself that someone you love (your father, brother) or someone you deeply respect (your teacher, coach) could have treated you in such an unloving, selfish and cruel way because you want to preserve the good feelings you have toward this person. It is far easier to make excuses for their behavior, or the most common tactic of all-blame yourself."
"It can be humiliating to admit that another person could have overpowered you. And in the case of sexual abuse, it is especially degrading to admit that someone was able to manipulate you into doing things you did not want to do. It can also be difficult to trust your memories about childhood abuse, which are often vague and may seem unbelievable, causing you to doubt yourself and be fearful of making a false accusation."
Many survivors of childhood emotional, physical, or sexual abuse make conventional New Year’s resolutions like losing weight, but healing childhood abuse deserves focused attention. A key step is facing the truth, which often conflicts with loyalty to family or respected adults and triggers denial, self-blame, shame, fear, and a desire to preserve positive feelings toward the abuser. Abuse memories may be vague, minimized, or walled off, and survivors can doubt their memories or fear making false accusations. Practical work includes journaling exercises such as starting entries with "The truth is..." to record only what one is certain of and to identify triggers.
Read at Psychology Today
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