"Regardless of age, it's a topic that comes up repeatedly in therapy. Loneliness is rarely about being alone, though. More often, it's about carrying thoughts, feelings, or experiences we don't feel safe to share. Psychologist Carl Jung, a pioneer in understanding the human psyche, said, "Loneliness does not come from having no people around you, but from being unable to communicate the things that seem important to you.""
"For many, the challenge isn't a lack of people-it's not having spaces where they can show up as themselves and talk about the things that matter most to them. A lifetime, or a childhood, can pass without the chance to talk about feelings, desires, or interests. Or, what's more, without having those feelings mirrored or reflected back in any way."
"Loneliness, particularly for gay men, often manifests subtly. In my life, coming out offered an early rush of relief-a sort of temporary satiation of loneliness. Still, it didn't address the deeper patterns I had internalized. My response to loneliness over the years often looked like withdrawing, keeping relationships at a surface level, or overcompensating to fit the expectations I thought others had of me."
Loneliness among gay men frequently arises from an inability to share important internal thoughts, feelings, or experiences rather than from physical solitude. Many lack safe spaces to appear authentically and to discuss desires, emotions, and interests, so childhoods or entire lifetimes can pass without emotional mirroring. Visibility and legal progress do not automatically dissolve feelings of isolation, because being known deeply remains challenging. Coming out can provide temporary relief but often leaves deeper internalized patterns intact. Typical responses include withdrawing, maintaining surface-level relationships, or overcompensating to meet perceived expectations, which perpetuates quiet internal tension and sustained loneliness.
Read at Advocate.com
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