"I am a very lucky person who has a huge amount to be happy and grateful for. But although I have many excellent friendships, I have had very few romantic relationships. I am now 36 and after 10 years of giving dating a real go, I have decided to become a single mum by choice. This has been a very positive decision for me and I am excited about the journey."
"Although I was aware of this and have worked extensively on self-acceptance with my own therapist, I now feel deep sadness and regret at being unable to have formed a relationship with someone who wanted to have children with me. In my friends and colleagues groups, this sets me apart from most women my age. I am envious of the companionship and support my peers receive from their partners."
An individual with many friendships and gratitude has had few romantic relationships and, at 36 after ten years of dating, chooses single motherhood. The decision is experienced as positive and exciting. A pre-screening counselling session raised the likelihood of grief tied to not having the hoped-for family, and that grief has surfaced as deep sadness and regret about not forming a relationship with someone who wanted children. The choice sets the individual apart from peers and creates envy of partnered companionship. Previously addressed feelings of being unlovable have re-emerged and the individual seeks strategies to live with these feelings while aiming to be a psychologically healthy parent.
Read at www.theguardian.com
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