I looked exceptional but I was out of breath': the bodybuilder who switched to mindful movement

"Eugene Teo, 34, began lifting weights at the age of 13, looking for validation. I was short, skinny and I thought it would give me confidence, he says. Bodybuilding for me was the ultimate expression of that. Now living on the Gold Coast in Australia, with his partner and daughter, the fitness coach spent from age 16 to 24 training and competing. At times, he lifted weights for up to four hours a day, aiming to get as muscular and lean as possible."

"The ideal he was chasing? If you grab your eyelid and feel that skin, he says, that's the skin thinness you want on your bum and abs. That quest became an obsession: How can I push myself to these extreme points, and then do it again and again and become better than last time? He followed unsafe protocols shared by bodybuilding gurus to make his muscles pop, dangerously dehydrating his body ahead of competitions."

"He ate six to 10 times a day, restricting his diet to foods considered clean by the community at the time: sweet potato, brown rice, broccoli and boiled chicken breast. He skipped his own birthday for years to avoid eating off-plan and took scales to Christmas dinner to weigh out his turkey. There were a lot of dysmorphic associations around food, he says. I had negative body image and confidence issues': Teo in 2015. Photograph: courtesy of Eugene Teo His body became a project one he focused his entire life around, with little room for flexibility, let alone fun."

Eugene Teo began lifting weights at 13 to gain confidence and pursued competitive bodybuilding intensely from ages 16 to 24. Training sometimes lasted up to four hours daily while he chased extreme muscularity and minimal body fat, using unsafe dehydration protocols before competitions. Diet became rigid: six to ten daily meals of 'clean' foods, skipping celebrations and weighing portions. The practices produced dysmorphic associations with food, persistent negative body image, and damaged relationships with friends, partners, and family. The body became a constant, inflexible project that ultimately signaled the need for change.

Read at www.theguardian.com