"I hovered over the dropdown menu before clicking "widowed." I realized that next year I would be clicking "married." Though I will consider myself both "married" and "widowed" after my coming wedding, the binaries that govern paperwork will not honor this joint identity, erasing a title that I have come to embrace in the past four years since my husband's death."
"Many other young people I know who have lost partners have grappled with the title "widow" or "widower," words that rarely conjure images of people in their 20s with potentially decades of life ahead. But, as I attended dozens of grief groups, sitting among others who had lost loved ones, I realized that partner loss is unusual in having a title I could claim."
A spouse's sudden death in the mid-20s abruptly ended shared plans and created a lasting identity as a widow. The widow label offered a specific word for partner loss that many other bereaved relationships lack. Formal paperwork enforces a binary between "married" and "widowed," which can erase simultaneous identities when a person remarries. Participation in grief groups underscored the distinctiveness and emotional magnitude of partner loss. Widowhood has reshaped daily choices, including a conscious move away from delayed gratification and a greater willingness to say "yes" to life.
Read at Business Insider
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