Holding On to Anger Is a Choice

"All of us become angry from time to time. Sustaining it is a choice. There are lifelong benefits to choosing calmness over anger-even when anger is constructive. Skills in emotional regulation offer us the freedom to create a pause to choose how we respond to anger. There are many barriers to developing the skills for healthy anger management."

"I've worked with hundreds of individuals who sought help for anger management. They were referred by the courts, by supervisors, by friends or by a significant other. Some seemed to have no remorse about their behavior. And others came on their own volition, recognizing the negative impact it had on their lives. They were often burdened by guilt and shame regarding anger. Many of these clients evidenced trait anger, a chronic disposition for anger arousal that informed their personality."

"Anger is a human reaction to feeling threatened, most often to negative emotions such as fear, injustice, shame, rejection, disappointment, frustration and powerlessness. It is a mind-body state that encompasses physiological and bodily reactions, thoughts, and emotions-which together may or may not lead to aggression."

Anger arises as a reaction to perceived threat and commonly stems from emotions such as fear, shame, rejection, injustice, disappointment, frustration, and powerlessness. Anger manifests as a mind-body state with physiological reactions, thoughts, and emotions that may or may not lead to aggression. Many people trace habitual anger to childhood exposure to aggression, modeled parental behavior, trauma, conflictual relationships, health challenges, or significant losses. Some individuals possess trait anger, a chronic disposition toward anger arousal. Emotional regulation skills enable creating a pause to choose responses, yielding lifelong benefits when choosing calmness, but multiple barriers hinder developing healthy anger-management skills.

Read at Psychology Today