"She's turned that pain into advocacy for other women wronged by health practices, which is meaningful. But she's also become a person who believes the worst of people she doesn't know, and is fundamentally suspicious and worried all the time. She's in therapy. I don't want to drop someone because they're grieving, but Cathy is almost a different person, and I miss my friend."
"What I can't tell for sure from reading your letter is how much room these new beliefs are taking up in your friendship. Are you just bothered that Cathy worries the Good Samaritan returning your umbrella is actually plotting a crime? Or is it that her dark views of humanity dominate all of your conversations and have changed the way you relate to each other?"
Lynn died after doctors missed a usually treatable cancer; her husband sued and won. Cathy, Lynn's close sister, became devastated and turned her pain into advocacy for women wronged by health practices. Cathy also developed pervasive suspicion and anxiety, interpreting kind acts as threats and becoming fundamentally distrustful of others. She is in therapy. A long-time friend misses the pre-grief Cathy and feels the paranoia now dominates conversations and undermines their connection. The friend wonders whether to accommodate grief-driven change or to distance from an almost-different person.
Read at Slate Magazine
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