Have We Been Misled About Self-Esteem?

"Who says our opinions of ourselves are accurate? After nearly 20 years in practice as a therapist, I've seen how easily those opinions can be shaped-or misshaped-by life experiences. Some clients grew up in families that repeatedly communicated things, directly and indirectly, that weren't true about their worth. Others, who seemed confident for years, found their self-esteem derailed when self-doubt or impostor phenomenon crept in."

"I've worked with people who have been taught to "always be humble," who developed lifelong self-deprecating habits in an effort to protect humility. Others were told to "never hurt others," then interpreted other people's reactions as proof of their own unworthiness. In each case, a distorted opinion of themself affected their worth, confidence, and emotional stability, making resilience and hope much harder to access."

Self-esteem is an opinion about oneself that is fragile, subjective, and easily shaped by life experiences. Childhood messages, cultural demands for humility, and efforts to avoid hurting others can create distorted self-views. Periods of impostor phenomenon or sudden self-doubt can derail long-standing confidence. Distorted opinions of oneself undermine perceived worth, emotional stability, resilience, and hope. Self-esteem often feels like a pass/fail metric that prompts urgent correction when judged low. Self-acceptance remains steadier than self-esteem and serves as a more reliable foundation for confidence and belonging. Cultivating self-acceptance can improve self-esteem and support mental wellbeing.

Read at Psychology Today