Growth Is an Unlearning Process

"Every January, the world leans forward and whispers the same familiar instruction: Become something new, as if the calendar change ignites new beginnings and fresh perspectives. We are urged toward brighter versions of ourselves, as though the self were something to be endlessly polished and perfected. What remains largely invisible is the deeper labor of transformation: the emotional and psycho-somatic work of shedding, undoing, and releasing what no longer belongs to the life that is trying to emerge."

"Un becoming invites us into the delicate work of questioning the roles we inherited and the stories we learned to tell and inhabit. It asks us to grieve earlier versions of ourselves shaped by social expectations and by conditional, colonial ways of defining safety, belonging, and worth. These are systems that prioritize productivity, obedience, and self-sacrifice over wholeness, and they give rise to familiar identities such as the achiever, the caretaker, the pleaser, the performer, and the rescuer."

Meaningful transformation begins with un-becoming: shedding inherited roles, beliefs, and adaptive survival strategies to make space for an authentic self. The deeper labor of change involves emotional and psycho-somatic work of releasing what no longer belongs to the life that is trying to emerge. Personal growth requires subtraction as well as acquisition—release, space, breath, and a slower, rooted rhythm aligned with authentic belonging. Unlearning calls for questioning inherited roles and the stories that shape identity, grieving earlier versions shaped by conditional and colonial definitions of safety, belonging, and worth. Expansion requires dissolving restrictive forms and listening deeply to heart and values.

Read at Psychology Today