Grief and the Change of Seasons

"The change of season has a way of stirring up grief even if we've been living with a while. Each change of season is a visceral reminder that time is passing; the day our loved one last walked the Earth is receding into the increasingly distant past. Time's passage seems to take them further from us, even though dead is dead is dead, and they are really no further away than they were the moment they breathed their last."

"I felt guilty rearranging our bedroom to accommodate their crates by moving his dresser against a different wall, all but erasing the memory of him standing by it in his skivvies. I bought a new car a few months ago, and it bothers me that he has never sat in the passenger seat. I still think about my old car sitting in the dealer's lot where I left it, a little Tom spirit still lingering in it."

The change of season brings visceral reminders that time is passing and that the day a loved one last lived recedes into the past. Any change, including rearranged furniture, new cars, or pets, can provoke fresh twinges of loss and guilt over altered shared spaces. Longstanding habits and rituals often persist, such as maintaining shared mealtime routines, because they provided structure and connection. Resistance to changing possessions and rituals can be unconscious and painful, and small changes can carry disproportionate emotional weight after bereavement. Objects and places associated with the loved one often retain their presence, making some alterations feel like erasure.

Read at Psychology Today