Avoidance Is Not Always About Triggers

"Many people going through grief, infertility, loss, or prolonged stress find themselves quietly withdrawing from family gatherings, holidays, baby showers, weddings, and even casual get-togethers. Often, this is explained in terms of not wanting to get triggered. That explanation is valid. Triggers are real, and the emotional pain can be sharp, sudden, and last for hours. Framed this way, stepping back can feel like a very good form of self-care."

"On the flip side, when fertility treatment or prolonged stress stretches on for years, loneliness and isolation emerge, and a different kind of stress takes hold. But for many people, that is only part of the story. Underneath the trigger, a question is often hiding in plain sight. Is it the situation itself that feels like too much, or is it the fear of what it might activate inside you once you are there?"

Many people confronting grief, infertility, loss, or prolonged stress withdraw from gatherings to avoid sudden, sharp emotional pain. Triggers are real and avoidance can feel like effective self-care because it reduces the risk of an emotional rupture. When stress endures for years, isolation compounds distress and loneliness grows. Beneath avoidance lies a question about trusting one’s capacity to recover emotionally after being triggered. Worry, self-critique, and spiraling thoughts can deepen suffering and create biased narratives. Rebuilding confidence in emotional resilience requires clear boundaries, compassionate self-inquiry, and honoring ambivalence with care.

Read at Psychology Today