"Now is not the time to see those videos. I don't think either of you is in the place to navigate the emotions they're going to dredge up. Moreover, if and when you do see them, that act needs to have a recovery-focused purpose. If they will help you make more specific amends or if he needs you to see something specific so that you can process together, that's one thing. But it doesn't sound like that's where either of you is at present."
"During that time, I struggled with alcohol and then needed emergency surgery for something unrelated that has devastated me physically, emotionally, financially and spiritually. I maintained my sobriety for five months and I was working on myself, and I thought I was doing well by communicating well, but it just seemed to make him angrier. He was dismissive and demeaning and defensive toward me, and I felt very unloved and unappreciated."
An adult child lived with a parent while the parent struggled with alcohol and later required emergency surgery, causing wide-ranging physical, emotional, financial, and spiritual hardship. The parent achieved five months of sobriety but experienced a brief relapse and sought emergency psychiatric help, prompting an honest hospital conversation. The son revealed trauma from the parent's drinking and has saved messages and videos showing the parent's rage, but he is not ready to share them. The recommendation is to delay viewing until both parties are prepared and to involve a sponsor or family therapist, with the viewing focused on recovery and specific amends.
Read at www.mercurynews.com
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