Are You Numbing or Soothing? How to Tell the Difference

"Discomfort is inevitable; no matter how much we try to avoid feeling uncomfortable, stressed, or anxious, life will inevitably throw us situations and stimulus that cause us discomfort and unease. Just as common as discomfort is, so too is escapism from that discomfort. Which brings up an important distinction: escaping uncomfortable feelings can take two forms: soothing or numbing. While both can achieve the desired effect of escaping uncomfortable feelings, numbing tends to be impulsive, unhealthy, and distracting,"

"whereas soothing is typically more measured, healthier, and more focused. Think of it this way: Numbing is akin to covering ourselves with a blanket in order to get away from a certain feeling, while soothing is closer to using a blanket to offer ourselves comfort, warmth, and calm. One is a complete and total escape; the other is an integration of a soothing element."

"When we numb, we attempt to completely remove ourselves from our discomfort, which, in and of itself, is unreasonable and unrealistic. While reducing suffering is a worthy goal, completely eradicating it is antithetical to the human experience. It is neither possible nor realistic to expect to experience only positive or comfortable emotions. But that is exactly what we attempt to do when we resort to numbing. If, for instance, we get drunk because we are experiencing upset, we are-albeit temporarily-numbing certain emotions and forcing different,"

Discomfort is an unavoidable part of life and often triggers a desire to escape. Escaping can take two forms: numbing and soothing. Numbing attempts total removal of unpleasant feelings through impulsive, unhealthy behaviors that distract and can cause harm rather than solve underlying distress. Soothing offers measured, focused comfort that integrates calming elements and preserves emotional processing. Attempts to eradicate suffering are unrealistic; temporary relief from numbing, such as alcohol-induced euphoria, fades and returns the original emotional state. Identifying and practicing personal soothing strategies enables healthier coping and reduces reliance on harmful numbing behaviors.

Read at Psychology Today