A Better Solution to Loneliness: Ties on the Fringe

"If you're feeling lonely, you're not alone. The US is facing an epidemic of loneliness. On any given day, one in five Americans feels isolated; that's over 60 million lonely people. Loneliness is painful and puts people at risk of psychological and physical health problems; lonely people even die younger. The antidote to loneliness seems simple: just connect with someone."

"Fringe-ships arise in a place or activity that you attend regularly. The foodie who stays after pickleball league to share your love of ethnic foods and discuss new restaurants. A parent at the PTA meeting who commiserates that both your seventh graders are failing history: "How do you fail seventh-grade history?" Or Lulu's owner at the dog park who talked to you on Thursday evening about the local basketball team's chances: "It's a rebuilding year.""

"Fringe-ships offer a sense of belonging, fondness, and validation at a low emotional cost. Fringe ties are meaningful. The partners choose one another. Out of all your coworkers, one (who isn't yet a friend) shares common interests, asks about your family, and you're grateful when that person shows up for the boring sales meeting. You rarely invite fringe ties into your home. Your fringe ties don't expect a meal when they are sick."

Loneliness is widespread and harms psychological and physical health, increasing mortality risk. Close relationships confer strong benefits but require substantial time, emotional effort, and investment. Low-investment ties, called fringe-ships, form repeatedly in shared places or activities and offer meaningful benefits. Fringe-ships arise among people who choose one another in routines like clubs, meetings, or parks and can include coworkers, fellow parents, or fellow enthusiasts. These ties provide belonging, fondness, and validation while rarely requiring home visits or caregiving obligations. Fringe-ships can partially alleviate loneliness by offering social connection with low emotional cost.

Read at Psychology Today