"As discussed in my latest book, Adult Children of High-Conflict Parents, those with high-conflict traits (HCPs) can be overt (yelling, temperamental, etc.) or covert. Covert means they cause a lot of conflict, and while there is not often overemotional volatility, they can cause it through other behaviors. Overt behaviors are typically obvious, such as with sociopaths, as they are emotionally volatile."
"Many individuals who exhibit high-conflict behaviors and cause trouble in relationships are correlated with narcissistic structures, psychopathy/ sociopathy (antisocial personality disorder), borderline personality, and those with dark triad traits. These disorders inhibit their ability to be able to repair in relationships because they lack empathy, perspective taking, and the ability to take responsibility for their actions and another person's pain."
"For instance, psychopaths or those with dark triad traits are very often "covert" HCPs because their emotions are controlled or dulled, but their impact in a relationship is quite dangerous and harmful due to gaslighting and the lack of emotional attunement and emotional reciprocity. Those with these personality structures are often covert HCPs because, on the surface, they can be very charming and well-liked in social circles and even at work."
High-conflict people often repeat the same behaviors across relationships. Some HCPs are overt—yelling, temperamental, emotionally volatile—while others are covert, causing conflict without obvious overemotional displays. Many high-conflict individuals align with narcissistic structures, psychopathy/sociopathy, borderline personality disorder, or dark triad traits. These disorders impair empathy, perspective-taking, and responsibility, undermining repair in relationships. Covert HCPs, including psychopaths and dark triad personalities, can appear charming and successful externally while engaging in gaslighting, emotional callousness, and chronic reality rewriting within families. Spotting these behaviors early enables boundary-setting to prevent stress, burnout, and escalation.
Read at Psychology Today
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