"I'm a passionate guy who enjoys a lot of things, and can still have wild, dry orgasms. Rejecting a blowjob comes off as rejecting the person. Mentioning my prostate cancer is a mood killer for a casual flirtation, but guys take it personally if we make out and I don't get hard (even though I'm totally into it). I have a BiMix prescription, but even then, it's not very portable, and I have to excuse myself awkwardly."
"If you are identifying as a bottom, it is completely reasonable to say upfront to potential partners that your dick is off limits, especially in casual encounters. Plenty of bottoms don't get hard and/or put no focus on their penises during sex. This may disappoint some vers/top guys, but it won't turn them all off. The negative reactions you've received about your lack of erection won't necessarily be the norm-you may just have encountered a less-than-ideal sample."
A prostatectomy can eliminate erections while leaving sexual desire and the ability to orgasm intact, creating awkwardness in casual encounters. It is reasonable and practical for someone identifying as a bottom to disclose that the penis is off-limits prior to intimate contact, especially with casual partners. Many bottoms do not rely on penile erections or focus on their penises during sex, so some partners will accept that. Negative reactions to a lack of erection are not universal and may reflect an unrepresentative sample. Transparent, early communication prevents misunderstandings and avoids wasting time.
Read at Slate Magazine
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