"Because of that lacking of love from my father, for many years I found myself forcing connections with people because my abandonment would get triggered and then I'd be like, 'No, no, no, stay,' and I would like always try to keep them near and try to have them in my life and say, 'no, no, no, I can show you that you can love me. No, I'll do this, I'll do that, I'll be better.'"
"I don't want nobody in my life that does not see the value in me. If you don't love me the same way I love myself, which is key, because I love me, so you gotta bring equal to what I got bringing over here. You can't come in here and not bring what I'm already bringing to the table. You better come with that or elevate."
Stop forcing connections with people who do not reciprocate or recognize personal value. Childhood absence of paternal love due to homophobia created abandonment wounds that drove years of people-pleasing and attempts to keep others close. That behavior produced emotional depletion and unhappiness. Signs of forced connections include feeling drained after interactions and giving more than one receives. Self-love is essential; relationships should mirror the respect and value already present within oneself. Require reciprocity and emotional elevation from others rather than continually proving worth. Reach out for companionship rather than clinging; prioritize relationships that return equal care and respect.
Read at Queerty
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