"He's a kind-hearted and generous disabled vet who's too proud to ask for help. Unfortunately, due to his ill health and physical limitations, his home is unkempt. N He lives among piles of dusty trash, empty cartons, unfinished projects, dirty clothes and even animal messes. It smells very unpleasant, especially in the heat. The last time I visited, I sat down in what I thought was a safe clear spot and came away smelling of cat urine."
"Your friend appears to be a hoarder. He may enjoy hosting and want company, but it isn't going to happen if people are afraid to go to his home and consume anything because of the filth and the odor. The person closest to him has to explain to him that although you all love him, his party would be better attended if the celebration was held off-site. He needs to understand why others are staying away."
"DEAR ABBY: I'm a young gay man with a problem. I met a cute guy, Mark, with a sweet personality, and the sex has been awesome. We spent two consecutive nights together in a hotel, but two days later he went to church, and he's now convinced that being gay is wrong. Mark still rubs my foot with his under the table while we eat"
A disabled veteran lives amid severe clutter, dust, trash, animal messes and persistent odor that deters friends from visiting. Offers of cleaning help have been refused, and hygiene concerns make guests reluctant to eat food prepared at his home. Hosting a holiday there would likely reduce attendance and create discomfort. The person closest to him must candidly explain that the celebration would be better held off-site and why people are avoiding his home. The friend may need both physical assistance and psychological treatment for hoarding. A separate situation involves a young gay man whose intimate partner now expresses religious guilt yet still gives covert affection, creating confusion.
Read at www.mercurynews.com
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