Can All the Sad Adults Please Step Away from Our Back-to-School Display?
Briefly

We understand life's cruel sense of humor. We know what it's like to stare into the innocent eyes of those cardboard-cutout kids and see yourself as a child, so full of hope and potential.
For those of you who are now so morose that you've forgotten why you drove here in the first place, we set up a really fun bin in the very back of the store, far away from all the families who have their lives together!
We bet it's been years since you've held a Mr. Sketch scented marker. Yep, our bins have those, too! You'll have so much fun sniffing them, you'll forget that your fourth-grade teacher is probably dead.
Please stop staring at those cardboard children and wishing that you could relive your childhood for just one more day. You can't, because it's gone.
Read at The New Yorker
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