You Are Being Judged, But That's OK

"Constant judgment is built into the world of academia through processes such as the academic peer review. It is part of human nature to have passing judgmental thoughts about others. Most judgments are superficial and do not have any impact on how people truly feel about one another. We often go to great lengths to convince ourselves that there is less judgment in the world than we know deep down there actually is, and the more someone worries about others' judgments, the more ardently they wish to deny, negate, or avoid them. Well, good luck doing that in grad school."

"It is quite difficult to live in denial of the fact that constant judgment is the bread and butter of academic life. If you are a grad student, you are constantly being asked to submit papers for peer review, present said papers in conferences where future employers might be present, teach classes where students fill out teaching evaluations at the end, and so forth. So, academia is a judgmental place-no use denying it."

"The question then becomes, how do you, as an achievement-oriented graduate student already predisposed to worrying about how others perceive you, maintain your sanity and self-esteem in the face of all this judgment? How can you calmly continue to speak up in seminars, present ideas that may or may not be good, reach out to professors, ask for help-in short, continue to do all the things that make for a good academic? What I propose is a sort of exposure. It might sound a little harsh or scary at first, but it can be very effective. What if next time you see a worry tsunami approaching ("Oh goodness, what if they are judging me? What if someone thought my question was stupid? What if this professor thinks I am not smart enough?"), you practice saying "yes" to all of these questions?"

Academic environments embed continual evaluation through mechanisms like peer review, conferences, teaching evaluations, and informal responses. Humans naturally have passing judgmental thoughts, and many of those judgments are superficial without deep impact on relationships. People often deny how much judgment exists, and denial intensifies worry for those predisposed to others' opinions. Graduate students face frequent evaluative situations that can threaten self-esteem. A practical strategy is exposure: intentionally acknowledging and saying “yes” to worry-driven questions to reduce avoidance, allow continued participation in academic activities, and maintain functioning and self-esteem.

Read at Psychology Today