When Secret Santa goes disastrously wrong: It was the most awful thing I just wanted to cry'

"The present itself, a solitaire game, would have been quite nice in the normal circumstances, she says. But it was accompanied by a note: It told me that it had been chosen for me because I was single and lonely and likely to remain so, as I had no friends. It was the most awful thing, Beves, now 57, remembers. When she opened the gift, in a room full of 60 staff members, I just wanted to cry, she says."

"The note came as a total shock. It was a wonderful workplace with the most fantastic people. And I thought we all got on really well, and that I was liked. To this day, Beves has no idea who it was from. Her memory of the rest of the day is blurry I've kind of blanked it but she is pretty sure she put the gift and the note straight in the bin: I certainly didn't take it home."

Susanna Beves received a solitaire game accompanied by a note stating it was chosen because she was single, lonely and had no friends. The gift was opened during a Secret Santa with about 60 staff present, leaving her humiliated and upset. She does not know who wrote the note and discarded the present immediately. The incident left a lasting negative impression. Anonymous office gift exchanges can cause hurt when humour targets personal characteristics. HR advice recommends caution and empathy when choosing gifts because attempts at humour often miss the mark and can damage relationships.

Read at www.theguardian.com