"He cares desperately about what he wears, to the extent of upsetting his beloved daughter on a unique and special occasion. Like you, he considers formal clothes to be symbolic. But while you interpret formality as a show of respect and festivity, he believes it symbolizes snobbery. Your version is indeed the standard one, but his is typical of a (mostly male) minority."
"My father, who will be giving me away, has refused to wear a tuxedo on the grounds that it is a monkey suit, even though all of the other men in the wedding party will be wearing one. I gave in, because I want him to be happy and comfortable. Now he says he will not wear a tie, either."
A bride preparing for a traditional church wedding faces conflict when her father refuses to wear a tuxedo and later a tie, calling a tux a 'monkey suit' and expressing dislike of formal clothes. She feels his refusal demonstrates a lack of respect for the ceremony and for her. Family members attempt compromises by providing a silk jacket and minimizing other demands. Formal attire is seen by some as a symbol of respect and festivity, while the father views it as snobbery. One person should set aside feelings to indulge the other's strongly held feelings, and a father is expected to do so for his daughter.
Read at www.mercurynews.com
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