"Our assiduously asset-stripped privately owned water companies cut out the middleman of actual waste treatment and dumped raw sewage directly into our rivers and seas 300,000 times in 2022 alone, often in the spawning grounds of endangered salmon during breeding season."
"Should the group Madness perform any outdoor greatest hits concerts this summer, it's suggested the downward pressure of 10,000 hefty ex-skinheads jumping up and down at the same time could cause massive geysers of human excrement to shoot up from the filth-sodden earth and overwhelm the emergency services."
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