How to Stop Last Year's School Problems From Happening Again

"In my last blog post, we looked at how to step back from worry about aspects of school life-whether yours or your child's-and use a series of questions to clarify whether the concern is useful, overstated, or somewhere in between. The purpose of that reflection step was to reduce unnecessary anxiety, which only gets in the way of productive responding and problem-solving, and to see the situation more clearly before deciding on next steps."

"Once you have that perspective, the question becomes: Now what? How do you help a child address the root cause of a concern-whether it's friendship struggles that are the result of subtle missteps, or classroom behaviors that are making it hard for them to stay in good standing with their teacher? The focus here is on matching your expectations and support to your child's readiness for change, using a practical, stage-by-stage approach that works for both social and behavioral goals."

"Some challenges are easy to name, like interrupting too often in class or shouting out answers without raising a hand. Others are subtler, like talking over peers in conversation, making inside jokes that others don't understand, or failing to notice when someone wants to join in. These behaviors can be just as isolating as more obvious rule-breaking-and just as concerning to teachers."

Reflection reduces unnecessary anxiety and clarifies whether a school concern is useful, overstated, or intermediate. Apply the same reflective questions to both social and behavioral gaps: identify the exact struggle, its duration, frequency, triggers, and any underlying skill deficits. Match expectations and supports to a child's readiness for change through a practical, stage-by-stage plan for social and behavioral goals. Recognize subtle social missteps—talking over peers, inside jokes, failing to include others—as isolating and impactful. Use small, steady steps, targeted practice, teacher collaboration, and anticipate setbacks by planning for challenges to sustain long-term improvement.

Read at Psychology Today