The article discusses a situation where a reader felt slighted after arriving late to a birthday dinner, noticing their friends had already ordered drinks and appetizers. The reader pondered whether their friends were excluding them intentionally, given their close ties. Miss Manners suggests that the late arrival weakened the reader's argument and advises against assuming malice, encouraging a conversation before jumping to conclusions. She emphasizes the importance of punctuality in social settings to avoid such misunderstandings.
Your case would be a whole lot stronger had you not been 15 minutes late. As it stands, your friends could say they were not sure when or even if you were coming.
Your friends could say they were not sure when or even if you were coming, so went ahead with ordering drinks. No doubt they might add the waitstaff was pressuring them to do so.
To get them to admit they were there longer than that would be tantamount to accusing them of fooling you, not a good look or a pleasant way to celebrate a birthday.
Perhaps you should hold off casting aside a whole group of close friends until you have evidence of malice.
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