Miss Manners: She was blatantly using the tablecloth as a napkin. Is that OK?

"George Washington already did! General Washington, as he correctly wished to be called after his presidency, was a master etiquetteer. It was he who issued the first rules of American protocol, so that it would be dignified without aping European court life. Much earlier in life, as a schoolboy, he had copied down a list of etiquette rules circulated by Jesuits. And Rule 100 had to do with the misuse of the tablecloth."

"True, it specifically prohibited using the tablecloth to clean one's teeth, and your dinner companion was at least not guilty of that. Nevertheless, the rule should be understood in a broader sense: that the tablecloth should not be put to personal use. Its job is to cover the table. A cloth that may be used to protect the lap from spills, and for patting crumbs or sauces on the mouth, has been issued: the napkin. That should settle the etiquette aspect."

"A cloth that may be used to protect the lap from spills, and for patting crumbs or sauces on the mouth, has been issued: the napkin. That should settle the etiquette aspect. You are surely not going to defy George Washington or, for that matter, argue with a bunch of 18th-century Jesuits. But you have left Miss Manners with the vision of a table laden with glassware, plates and food and someone pulling on the tablecloth. Not a good idea."

A guest lifted a floor-length tablecloth onto her lap to protect her gown at a semi-formal, buffet-style dinner. Historical etiquette guidance is invoked, noting George Washington copied and preserved rules, including Rule 100 addressing misuse of the tablecloth. The tablecloth’s purpose is to cover the table and not to serve personal uses. Items for personal protection and cleaning at the table exist: the napkin is issued for protecting the lap, patting crumbs, and wiping sauces from the mouth. Pulling a tablecloth while the table is set risks upsetting glassware and plates and is ill-advised. A separate blended-family Thanksgiving concern was introduced about adult children asking whether non-family might attend and insisting they want only family members present.

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