Miss Manners: My mother embarrasses me at restaurants with her showy post-meal routine

"After a meal at a restaurant, my mother is in the habit of vigorously rubbing both of her hands with one or two lemon slices, squeezing the juice into her palms, pouring water onto a napkin, then wiping her hands. She will even go so far as to shake excess water from her hands onto her plate. Mother thinks this is perfectly acceptable dining etiquette, especially since a finger bowl is usually not provided."

"I have a dear sister who is 50. She is a busy professional and homemaker. I am her 65-year-old brother, living about four hours away, also well-educated. We have a very good relationship and see each other a few times a year, and we also keep in touch by frequent text messages. My sister apparently doesn't read and edit her texts prior to sending them. She likely uses a dictation system included in her phone that is prone to errors."

"Incidentally, you are correct about this not being the way finger bowls are properly used. They are intended for a quick dip of the fingertips, if necessary, not a bath. Miss Manners would recommend, in descending order of difficulty: 1. telling your mother that you are happy to accompany her to the washroom, as you thank the waiter and countermand your mother's request for lemons; 2. stop going to restaurants with your mother;"

A daughter describes a mother who vigorously rubs her hands with lemon slices at the restaurant, pours water on a napkin, and shakes excess water onto her plate. The lemon practice is not proper finger-bowl use; finger bowls are for a quick fingertip dip, not a bath. Recommended responses include offering to accompany the mother to the washroom and declining the lemons, or progressively avoiding joint restaurant outings or adjacent seating. A brother reports a 50-year-old sister whose dictation-driven texts often contain errors and confusing words. He seeks a gentle way to point out the problem to her.

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