There are few things I care about less than coffee ... It's a beverage; it's not a lifestyle.
I don't want to wait for my coffee. I don't want some man-bun, Mumford and Son motherf*cker to get it for me.
If it takes you longer to make my coffee than it does for me to drink it, then we have a basic problem.
I'm a cheap date when it comes to coffee... That cardboard flavor is an important component of my New York coffee-drinking experience.
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