This is how we do it: His cancer diagnosis hit the reset button we've built up quite the collection of toys'

"During the lead-up to the procedure and the weeks of recovery that followed, I worried that intimacy would no longer be possible in the same way, and questioned what that would mean for both my sense of identity and our marriage. In fact, and to my complete surprise, it's transformed our sex life in the best possible way."

"Until my surgery pushed us both to speak more plainly about how we'd cope if I did have erectile dysfunction, and what sex meant for us as a couple. In a strange way it gave us a fresh start. Because I've got to take medication an hour before sex, we now discuss if and when it's going to happen without anxiety."

"We're now having sex once a week, and perhaps the most significant thing is that we're better communicators overall, which is a silver lining of my cancer journey."

A man diagnosed with prostate cancer chose surgery despite risks of erectile dysfunction, fearing it would damage his marriage and identity. During recovery, he and his wife Lucy confronted their sexual dynamics directly for the first time in their 30-year relationship. Previously, his higher libido created mild tension as he typically initiated sex. The need to plan intimacy around medication requirements eliminated anxiety and enabled genuine conversation about their needs. Manageable nerve damage responded well to medication, resulting in weekly sexual encounters. Beyond physical recovery, the couple developed significantly improved communication skills that extended throughout their relationship, transforming a health crisis into unexpected relationship strengthening.

Read at www.theguardian.com