"I used to be the king of this. Back in my mid-20s, I'd replay conversations for hours, analyzing every word, every look, every possible interpretation. Someone would make a casual remark about my work, my choices, or even my appearance, and I'd spiral into self-doubt for days. The irony? Most of these people probably forgot what they said five minutes later. Meanwhile, I was losing sleep over it."
"Manson's book was a game-changer for me because it doesn't sugarcoat anything. He basically says we only have a limited amount of energy to care about things, so we better choose wisely. The key insight? It's not about not caring about anything. It's about caring about the right things. Your values, your close relationships, your personal growth. Everything else? Let it go."
Casual remarks can trigger prolonged rumination and self-doubt, causing lost sleep and anxiety. Replaying conversations and overanalyzing perceived judgments amplifies emotional pain while most commenters quickly forget their words. A shift toward selective caring frees finite emotional energy for meaningful priorities. Choosing whose opinions matter focuses attention on core values, close relationships, and personal growth rather than universal approval. Accepting life's difficulties and embracing personal flaws reduces the compulsion to chase constant positivity or approval. Pursuing constant self-improvement for approval often decreases satisfaction; paradoxically, accepting imperfections boosts confidence and lessens concern about others' judgments.
Read at Silicon Canals
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