The author reflects on personal growth and emotional release through cycling after a challenging past involving incarceration and substance abuse. Two days before his 44th birthday, he recalls a potentially triggering encounter with law enforcement while shopping for a birthday bike. Over the past 18 months, he has experienced heightened emotions while transitioning from heavy drinking to sobriety, leading to waves of deep reflection. The solitude and rhythm of cycling have provided him with a way to connect with his emotions, memory, and the beauty of his surroundings in New Haven, allowing for personal healing and rediscovery.
I'd gone from being the guy who has a birthday party and receives 15 bottles of bourbon to barely having a drink a week. I had been drowning time in bourbon.
Cycling became the only time since solitary confinement that I'd be alone with myself, and I savored it. I rediscovered curiosity and fear and the stillness that comes with listening to your own heart.
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