#longing

#longing

I have been with my husband for around 30 years and have incredible kids of varying ages. There is an age gap of approximately 10 years and I was relatively young when we met with limited sexual experience. To fast-forward some years, both of us had affairs. I cannot pass comment on his reasons as they are his to hold. I believe mine were a lack of real-world experience, a lack of intimacy in our marriage, kids etc.

With the fallout from the war in Syria as a backdrop, director Nour Alkheder longs for her father through memories, imagination and the fragments of a life uprooted by conflict. As Alkheder reflects on what was lost and what remains, she confronts the emotional weight of nostalgia and the love that binds her to her father and her homeland. I Love You More explores what it means to long for someone,

Maybe a pay-phone in France would still reach you; in the South; in the third or second life. Still then as a teenager, bloodless and senseless, skidding another riven diagram into the dust. Now even staggered into fake quietude I can't believe there is no causeway to the dead. Why should there not be. I know it is just a zip in circumstance. Tending June's snow driven to musk and peachlit common rain.

When I met my husband, I was doing an on-again/off-again dance with a man I'll call Noah. The gist of our 10-year relationship was that I wanted to be "on" and he seemed content to be on-again/off-again ... forever. This is not a man I want popping up in my dreams. And yet, even though my marriage is pretty good, as marriages go, I can never seem to get this guy out of my head.

The Beacon Hill broker cherishes family gatherings and finds solace beside the lake, reflecting on the loss of children from the past, longing for connection.

Each night, a truck stops before my door, motor running, headlights on, the driver, barely seen, stares straight ahead, the hum has awakened me...