I have sacrificed myself on the battlefield of patriarchy chicken, by walking square into people who stride down the centre of the pavement staring at their phones and expecting everyone else to jump out of their way. I have risked life and limb in a pub full of football fans by declaring my belief that the only real sports are running fast, jumping high and throwing or swimming far the rest are just games.
It's the focal point of any festive gathering - but the responsibility of providing Christmas dinner can trigger monumental stress. From securing the Brussels sprouts, crafting a timeplan and basting the turkey, it takes military-level planning. Even working out when to buy all of the ingredients can cause a headache - as you don't want any of the essentials to spoil before the 25th.
Christmas dinner? At home or in a restaurant? It's at this juncture of the year, with Christmas dinner hurtling towards us, that you may well find yourself muttering: Well, we could always go out! Who could blame any home cook for wanting to shove this great burden on to someone else's back, especially since every culinary TV show, magazine article and advertising break since mid-November has hammered home what a colossal faff Christmas dinner actually is.