The Danger of Delegating Evil

"It often happens in therapy that clients come seeking to prove something-to themselves, to me, to the world: that they are good people, that they don't deserve what they're going through. While I understand and respect this impulse, I've learned that the real work begins only when this need to defend a moral position softens. The therapeutic process deepens when the client becomes so invested in observing their life-not judging or justifying it, but truly seeing it-that we can begin to understand what needs to shift."

"Most of us want to keep "evil" at a distance. We treat it as an external force-something that happens to us, not something we participate in. But this creates a danger. As philosopher Jean-Luc Nancy suggests, evil isn't an external substance; it's a tear in the fabric of meaning (1993). When we push it too far away, we lose sight of how our inaction, denial, or fear might allow suffering to persist."

"One client came to me at a moment of deep life paralysis. She was facing a major decision, but all her frustration was directed toward her husband-he was too controlling, too rigid, too stuck. He was too responsible for her unhappiness. And yet, it became clear over time that what was holding her back wasn't just him. It was fear. She had outsourced the risk of change. She had made him the obstacle so she wouldn't have to act. In doing so, she had unconsciously delegated her own capacity for transformation-and in the process, let unhappiness continue unchecked."

Many clients enter therapy seeking to prove moral worth or innocence, but meaningful change begins when the impulse to defend softens. Deeper therapeutic work occurs when clients move from justification to clear, nonjudgmental observation of their lives to identify necessary shifts. Some people externalize wrongdoing and treat evil as something that happens to them, which obscures how inaction, denial, or fear enable suffering. Conceptualizing evil as a tear in meaning highlights danger in pushing it away. Outsourcing risk and avoiding transformative moments prevents personal responsibility and blocks the capacity for change.

Read at Psychology Today