Where Loneliness Really Begins

"And as he sat with myths and fairy tales, with films and legends, he noticed the same pattern repeating itself time and again (Campbell, 1949). It shimmered in children's stories about magic and mystery, in films with caped heroes soaring across screens, and in sweeping space operas set among the stars. Joseph called this pattern the hero's journey. And no matter how magical or epic the story became, it always started in the same, familiar place: the ordinary world. (Vogler, 2007)"

"At first glance, the ordinary world seems plain, almost forgettable. It's the small town before the dragon, the farm house before the road beckons, the suburban home before the unexpected. But it holds more meaning than we realize. The ordinary world is where life appears orderly and intact. It's predictable and steady. The rules are clear, so we know how to move through it. And yet... this is also the place we feel the tug of absence. Something essential is missing."

"From my earliest days in school, my good grades were met with warm smiles from teachers. When I brought them home, they softened the worry in my parents' eyes. So I told myself: This must be the way to a good life. Then, I gave it everything I had. It was days spent in classrooms and nights spent with textbooks. The years slipped by inside the reliable loop of effort and reward. All along the way, there were smiles and applause, people lifting glasses in my direction and offering steady encouragement: You're doing it right. Keep going. This is the way to a great life."

Joseph Campbell identified a recurring narrative pattern he called the hero's journey, which consistently begins in an ordinary world. The ordinary world appears orderly, predictable, and governed by clear rules, yet it conceals a felt absence. Adaptations, compliance, and determination to maintain that order keep the absence out of sight. That hidden lack generates a tug toward change that launches the journey beyond the ordinary. Personal experience of praise and achievement can reinforce remaining within the ordinary world even when a deeper need remains unmet, delaying the call to adventure.

Read at Psychology Today