The Upside of Professional Rejection

"It's normal to hear "no" and jump to the conclusion that something is fundamentally wrong-with one's work or, worse, with oneself. As I've aged, however, I've found that the disappointment that comes after being rebuffed doesn't last as long as it used to. In one recent instance, after a longtime collaborator rejected a project I was passionate about, the feeling of dejection never even arrived. Instead, the "no" energized me to find someone else who believed in the idea."

"How people process rejection is tied to culture. I grew up in the United States, which has long espoused an ethos of individualism and grit, so I've been surrounded by messages about the "power of positive thinking" and exhortations that people should push through dispiriting dismissals-or, as Ronald Reagan put it, "try and try again." That attitude, if you can summon it, can be invigorating."

Professional rejection often produces persistent pain even after decades of experience, as dismissed story ideas continue to sting. Aging can shorten the duration of disappointment, and some rejections can instead energize pursuit of alternative outlets or collaborators. Reframing rejection as a provocation or opportunity, rather than a final verdict, can change responses. Cultural context matters: U.S. norms of individualism and grit promote messages like the "power of positive thinking" and exhortations to "try and try again," which can invigorate some people. Structural political and societal influences can cause rejection beyond personal control, making failure not necessarily evidence of lacking willpower.

Read at The Atlantic