Inner Light - The Paris Review
Briefly

There is enormous pleasure in maintaining at least two, if not several, parallel lives... the true indulgence is in occupying the vast reaches of interior space, populated by all the aspects of yourself that don't end up in any social circle... a big, sumptuous, light-filled nothing, the real you.
Are you having an affair with --? Someone had put the question to me the day before the party... How badly I must have wanted to be found out.
Read at The Paris Review
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