Grow a backbone. Notify her NOW that you won't be available when she is in your state, or you may wind up hosting her. If she presses, tell her that you have grown apart and in different directions. Then wish her well, make your exit and do not respond to any more of her attempts to contact you.
I have been attending grief therapy, but it doesn't seem to be working. I tried joining a dating site but it's a disaster out there. Most of the women are gold diggers.
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