As a Figure Skating Expert, It Is My Responsibility to Tell You That Ilia Malinin is Unbeatable

"As a figure skating expert, I feel it is my responsibility to tell you that Malinin is unbeatable. On the other hand, I feel a bit like I'm a shipbuilder calling the Titanic unsinkable. We make proclamations and the gods laugh at us. Yes, yes, and I say this rolling my eyes, "anything is possible." So, sure, a meteorite from Ilia's home planet could strike him down and knock him out of the competition."

"(For anyone wondering: Yes, I did see Tomàs-Llorenç Guarino Sabaté of Spain skate dressed like a Minion to the music of the Minions. His ability to perform this viral program seemed in doubt due to copyright issues, but all was resolved. And while he didn't qualify for the free skate, his silly showmanship seems to have won the hearts of the world. For that, he should reward himself with a well-earned (and say this to yourself in a Minions voice) BANANA!)"

Ilia Malinin delivered a commanding short program, building a five-point lead over Japan's Yuma Kagiyama and establishing himself as the overwhelming favorite for Olympic men’s gold. Nathan Chen's 2018 short-program collapse remains a cautionary precedent, but Malinin's season-long consistency provides buffer for errors and still-winning potential. The men's event also featured memorable and viral moments, including Tomàs-Llorenç Guarino Sabaté's Minions-themed performance, which resolved prior copyright doubts though it did not reach the free skate. Maxim Naumov competed under intense emotion after losing both parents in the January crash of American Eagle Flight 5342.

Read at Slate Magazine